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It Is Done

September 13, 2009

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The end of a friendship came about this week in a most painful way.  I received a hurtful, juvenile letter full of illogical and imagined wrongs.  This relationship was crumbling for a while and we both held on despite the fact that there were tensions simmering under the surface for too long.  It’s no mystery why some people hang onto relationships like these.  Because separation is always painful and there is always good in the other person that will be missed.  But sometimes there’s too much drama, too much crazy, a chasm in opinions that can never be bridged and too much past resentment to fully forget.

I learned some important lessons from this.  The main thing is that I am appreciative for my true friends and family.  People who accept me fully, whether I agree with them or not and who are there for me when I hurt and are there for me when we are all sharing hearty belly laughs together.  I treasure people with whom I can share my whole life with, including my children.

A second thing that I learned is that I will be very wary of becoming close friends with someone who is mentally ill.  When one’s brain is affected by chemical imbalance, sometimes there’s no way to avoid a bad situation, one in which truth becomes twisted and logic is simply not present.  Paranoia is not an easy thing to work around, believe me when I say this.  I have compassion for the mentally ill, but I don’t have a desire to bring a person with mental illness into a close relationship with me and my family.

When the sting of hateful words has subsided and the comfort of friends and laughter has helped lift my spirits,  I can see how much less carefully I will have to tread in conversations and online interactions and feel how a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I can see that this painful severance was actually a good thing.  A blessing in disguise.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mom permalink
    September 14, 2009 6:05 am

    On one hand I am so sorry you had to go thru this, but on the other hand you have learned a great deal from it. And you being the person you are, will let it serve to help your personal growth. After what I went thru, I can fully understand what you went thru. It is interesting how we do hang on to painful relationships because the parting is painful. But I am learning if we can face the pain and work thru it we become much stronger and find out more about who we are. I am very proud of how you have handled this whole thing. You are a very strong, caring person and I am so proud to have you for my daughter.

  2. September 14, 2009 5:32 pm

    yes…yes.

    sending some peace your way….

    sometimes letting go is the hardest and easiest thing you could do.

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